Benussi Blog

Hollywood golden couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are reportedly getting married after six years and six children together.

Labour leader Ed Miliband recently tied the knot with lawyer Justine Thornton, again after six years – although only two children – together.

Couples who have shared a home for several years may decide to get married for a variety of reasons, but if they have children together it’s often to provide financial and domestic stability.

However, research shows that if you live with your partner before getting wed, you’re more likely to get divorced.

One such survey, of more than 1,000 married men and women in America, found that those who moved in with a lover before engagement or marriage reported significantly lower quality marriages and a greater potential for splitting up than other couples.

About one in five of those who cohabited before getting engaged had since suggested divorce – compared to only 12 per cent of those who only moved in together after getting engaged and ten per cent who didn’t share a home before tying the knot.

There are several reasons why people decide to marry after being together a long time: one is that if you have shared a home for years, it can make financial as well as practical sense to make everything “official”. Another is that it gives children a sense of stability.

There are now more than four million couples living together in England and Wales and although they have legal protection in several areas, they and their families have significantly fewer rights and responsibilities than people who are married or in a civil partnership.

But despite the advantages of getting married, it’s not so surprising that long-term live-in partners often split up soon after walking up the aisle.

From our experience, this is because one partner, if not both, expects – even if it’s only subconsciously – the relationship to be transformed once there’s a wedding band on their finger. When it jogs along much the same, disappointment and discontent set in.

Some couples actually decide to marry instead of breaking up: if you’re going through a rocky patch, getting hitched and having a big party can be seen as a way of injecting romance and excitement into a jaded relationship. While it might do the trick for a few weeks or months, it’s unlikely to solve the root problems.

A couple might also marry if one partner is especially keen to tie the knot. If the other is simply giving way, resentment and annoyance might rear their heads once the wedding is over.

So if you’re pondering getting married having lived with your partner for several years, do think carefully before sending out the invitations. Question yourself – and your partner – over the real reasons you want to make the relationship “official”.

Also consider making an appointment to speak to a specialist divorce lawyer about how marriage will impact on your rights and responsibilities, particularly if you and your prospective spouse have lived together for many years.

These days, there is little or no social stigma associated with cohabitation and children being born out of wedlock, so if you’re going to marry your long-term lover, make absolutely sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.