Benussi Blog

Gap years are usually associated with young people – school leavers who embark on a 12-month adventure before enrolling at university or joining the “real world” of work. But these days, according to a new report, it’s their 50-something parents who are more likely to take a year out.

The survey, carried out by The Post Office Travel Insurance, found that with the soaring costs of going to university, only 19 per cent of students were considering a gap year or extended break this year. But 25 per cent of over-55s were planning to take “time out” of three months or longer.

And the so-called “grey gappers” aren’t content with a tootle around Britain in a camper van – they are looking to explore the likes of America, Australia, New Zealand, India and the Far East.

Although this is good news for travel firms and even better news for those who imagine hitting 50 means you’re over the hill, there’s a world of difference between a 19-year-old school-leaver and a 55-year-old spouse and parent deciding to jet off with their rucksack. And the main difference is that little word “responsibility”.

Even those lucky enough to have taken early retirement in their 50s, with a nest egg and a pension, are still likely to have fairly hefty responsibilities: a house, children and aged parents.

And, of course, the majority of 50-somethings will have a partner to consider. That partner may share their sense of adventure – but it’s just as likely they won’t.

Sharing – or not – your other half’s dream or passion can have a profound effect on a relationship. Many couples start out with similar goals and interests, but as the years go by, these may change. Sometimes they change in tandem; but sometimes they don’t.

“Let’s hire a motorbike and tour Australia one day” is a great idea to buy into when you’re knee-deep in nappies and mortgage repayments.

But when, 20 years later, your spouse revives the dream, it may not seem as appealing because, by then, the sense of responsibility is entrenched.

Many of Benussi & Co’s clients who fall into this age bracket say that their estranged partners didn’t share their dreams and aspirations.

The former cricketer Imran Khan said in a recent interview that he and ex-wife Jemima would probably have made it had they been allowed by Pakistani society to enter into politics together – which was a shared passion at the start of their marriage.

Having the same passion, dream or hobby as your partner can provide the glue that keeps you together. For example, I know of a couple in a civil partnership who are both crazy about the Eurovision Song Contest. On the other hand, some couples thrive on having different interests and aims.

What is important, though, is to respect and value your other half’s ambitions and fantasies – even if you don’t share them.

So if your spouse wants to trek through the Andes, don’t dismiss it as a pipe dream: think of ways to make it happen, either together or as a solo trip.

Listening, respecting, making allowances for – and even joining in with – your partner’s passions could not only save your relationship but also bring you closer to one another. You may have a lot of fun too!