The
1,427 mothers surveyed said they were most irked by their partners
making a mess while cooking, leaving pots and pans in the sink and
perishable food out of the fridge, not taking the bin out or eating the
last “treat” from the fridge.
Susannah
Holloway, Hotpoint’s brand director, commented: “The kitchen is the
heart of the home – where we bond, do our homework, entertain, feed
ourselves and communicate – so we're not surprised our research found
that tensions are rising here, especially in light of the recent credit
crunch.”
I don’t think it’s
anything to do with the credit crunch; rather it’s the way in which
traditional gender roles have overlapped and become muddled. Not so
many years ago, a husband rarely set foot in the kitchen – unless it
was to sit at the table and eat a meal his wife had cooked. Wives
cooked, cleaned and washed up, while their men folk put their feet up
after a hard day at the office.
Nowadays,
or so we are told, “metro-sexual” men are all but elbowing their
partners out of the way in their rush to concoct Jamie Oliver recipes,
whip up a loaf of ciabatta in the bread maker and load the dishwasher
with military-like precision.
Except
that most aren’t, are they? A sizeable chunk of blokes still sit in
front of the TV, beer in hand, while their other halves – who have also
been at work all day – knock up the tea while sorting out the washing.
The few who do venture in largely pay lip service to New Man-ism:
chopping some vegetables, rinsing a few dishes under the tap but
getting distracted halfway through or cooking a meal using every pan,
utensil and work surface available.
I
might sound a little flippant, but there’s a serious point to be made
here: my experience shows that a lot of relationships are ruined by
metaphorical molehills rather than mountains, and clashes in the
kitchen (as well as elsewhere in the home) can escalate into marital
meltdown if allowed to get out of hand. So if your relationship can’t
stand the heat, my advice is that one of you gets out of the kitchen.
On
the basis that too many cooks spoil the broth (along with Gordon
Ramsay’s latest consommé), it might be a good idea to decide that, from
now on, only one of you will be the main cook and bottle washer.
Households in which each partner has defined roles often work better
than those where everyone mucks in with everything.
If
you know that your role is the put a hot meal on the table every night,
then you’re less likely to feel resentful that your spouse hasn’t done
his fair share in the kitchen this week. In turn, if your partner
doesn’t feel pressured into helping to put the crockery away, they
won’t run the risk of being taken to task for putting things in the
wrong place.
In short, if your
marriage is falling apart because of domestic wrangling over who does
what in the home, sit down together and draw up a list of jobs and
responsibilities for each of you. That way, while you are flicking
through recipe books, your spouse is tackling the weeds in the back
garden. And when you are cleaning the cars at the weekend, your other
half is doing the ironing.

